I had a really unmotivated Monday yesterday, and although I got through most of the things on my to-do list, I really struggled to get my work head on. I was so unmotivated that, although I wrote most of this blog post in my notebook I am only getting round to putting it up now. Still, that's not so bad. I'm working at home today, so had time to do a little outfit shot:
Obviously I put on a cardigan after Nic took the photo - the snow has returned to Leamington, and I don't think blue arms would go all that well with red tights. Still, I am determined to wear the lovely sailor dress, it seems a shame that it has been hanging in my wardrobe since I bought it in January.
I don't think anybody could blame me for not being in a great work frame of mind yesterday, and for not wanting the weekend to be over. I had a very wonderful weekend, and it was just what I needed after a long and rather blue week last week. Nic and I were old on Friday night, and we stayed in. We cooked a curry for dinner and watched Inspector Morse, which I'm seriously into at the moment. I've got a bit of a crush on John Thaw, but the real draw of the series for me is Lewis. Not in a sexy way, but I love Kevin Whately's performance. He is quietly charismatic and has an excellent line in reaction shots. Nic and I have been picking the box sets here and there, and I am really enjoying watching them so expect to hear a bit more Morse talk round here in the near future.
On Saturday I met Caroline, Lauren, Kate and Sugar Plum to do some shoe shopping. Caroline has a birthday party to go to this weekend and was in need of some fierce shoes, which is what she found. She'll blog about them soon herself, if you're curious, but they really were fabulous! As for me, I managed to resist the siren call of the beautiful navy suede peep toe Untold shoes that I tried on. I was helped in my resolve by the Irregular Choice shoes I bought last week, and also by the fact that a man stopped me on Regent Street to compliment me on my shoes! I was wearing my flick flack shoes, which I can wear without rage ever since the good man in Timpsons fixed them for me. I didn't come home empty-handed, however, as I found two beautiful Hornsea heirloom bowls in the RSPCA shop. They are in perfect condition and were only £2 each, so I was really pleased! We all had a profitable shopping trip as Kate found some more vintage ladybird books, Lauren bought a fabulous hat and dress, and Sugar Plum bought a few tops and a dress from Dorothy Perkins. We retired to the White Horse, initially for a few drinks, but we were soon joined by Nic, Tom, N and Ben and ended up staying there well into the evening. It was really relaxed and fun, and we ended up covering a surprising amount of topics. After a week of feeling worried and discouraged about things, it was really good to spend time with friends. Lauren wrote that she feels happy to have a group of friends to hang out with in Leamington, and I agree. I'm really lucky to have so many really good and dear friends living within walking distance. Meeting Caroline, Lauren and Kate recently has been brilliant as well, more excellent girls to have fun with.
I spent a lot of last week feeling anxious and stressed and sad. I was preoccupied by negative thoughts and by feeling bad. I allowed myself to get caught up in worrying about what other people think about me and say about me, and how this matches up with the things I dislike about myself. It's a very destructive cycle to get into, and while buying new shoes definitely helps, it can't fix everything. Of course everyone has things about themselves that they dislike, and I know that I am far from perfect but I also know that I have good qualities as well. I spent too much time on the wrong side of that last week, so spending time with friends on Saturday was just what I needed. Nic and I tripped home from the White Horse on Saturday night full to the brim with wine and laughter and love.
Today is me and Nic's three-year anniversary. In fact, at the time of writing three years ago I think he and I were gazing soppily at one another across the table in Brown's in Coventry. Since we fell in love I have found it much easier to feel good about myself, and to enjoy social occasions like Saturday evening. On a practical level, it was through Nic that I met my dearest M, and through him that I was able to reconnect with Tom and with Sugar Plum, both of whom were old friends from university. Moving into a flat in Leamington with Nic a year and a half ago meant that I was physically close to my friends as well. More importantly than that, however, is the fact that falling in love with Nic has opened me up to explore the things that I am interested in, and helped me to find new interests, which has made me a happier person and a better friend. Nic is my best friend, and I am lucky to have such a good man and such good friends in my life.
Luckily on Sunday I was not at all hung-over, but I was being pretty lazy and undomesticated, so I still have a few chores to get through this week. One thing I did achieve, however, was to sort through some of our many books to make up a bag for the charity shop (and to make room on the shelves for those books I bought a few weeks back at the tip shop) Decluttering is a slow process, but I am making some headway and will hopefully be ready to do a good spring clean soon. It was cathartic to get rid of things last week, and while I am never going to be one for minimalism, it is good to chuck out the things that you have no reason to keep.
It is going to be another busy week at work and at home. I'm going to have to be in London a fair bit this week and next week, and that involves lots of meetings. I do have some lovely social things to look forward to, though. I'm hopefully going to be meeting Louise for lunch on Friday. On Saturday Nic and I are off to Oxford with Sugar Plum and N, to go to a vintage fashion fair. I'm hoping that Sugar Plum and I might get to spend a bit of time trying on dresses in Aspire and that Nic and I will be able to go to The Turf Tavern to do the crossword. It's been a while since I've been to Oxford as well, so I will definitely be treating myself to a Pie Minister pie. YUM!
Okay, well this has taken me a lifetime to write and the cup of tea next to me isn't going to drink itself. And the caramel digestive biscuits aren't going to eat themselves, either.